oral is when you put your mouth on someones privates and play moterboat or popsicle
Just wondering why in an apartment full of stoners there is half a waffle in the TRASH CAN. get ur shit together man
we were naked in his bed and he told me all about what a "baller" alexander the great was.
I knew it was time to leave Waffle House when you started singing "What's Your Fantasy" to your hash browns.
where are you?
Hypothermia
Well if he truly loves me he will just have to accept my flaws. And that includes a tequila dependency and borderline lesbianism.
I see you've set aside this special time to humiliate yourself in public.
I thought it went well, but he just sent me a video of me sucking an icicle on the fire escape of his building with the caption "The ice got more than I did." Somehow I feel like I owe him a blowjob.
I think, at this point, getting pissed and declaring my love via reality TV would be an improvement
We stared down the barrel of pure insanity, took more and the electric elephant god rewarded our fearlessness by giving me golden skulls and naked women crawling out of the walls. I love acid
My dad just accidentally taught me how to make fake IDs. I love my life.
Hey don't blame me, picking what flavor of condom to put on my dick is a very difficult selection process
Idk woke up on the suite in someone else's clothing and actually broke my ankle
I know you're having some issues right now but can we focus on the gangbang?
I WILL go to space. And if we find aliens I WILL fuck one. It’s the Marine Corps way
Randomize
