just wrote a 6 page paper on my blackberry. including 3 sources. college is teaching me good things so far.
It was a two-sided wall so part of my body ended up in someone elses condo.
There's a questionable stain on Harley's bed...would they have sex on a dog bed?
How do I politely say my vagina is not a chew toy and if you bite me again I will slap you?
You could say take it easy, whoa there, be gentle, anything that doesn't fully convey the horror.
You take your time. Wallowing in last nights filth is the best way to get over a hangover
at the end of the day, college isnt gonna be for everyone... and some of us are just going to have to learn how to breathe underwater while sucking cock.
I dont know what we smoked last night but I woke up and found out I started writing a book called White Trash Princess. Its the best thing Ive ever read
Not good... He ate my chips. Thats not a sex analogy for anything. My actual potato chips... gone. I lost on both ends.
All of my exes are either overweight and neckbearded or dead. Someone out there is looking out for me.
We are all yelling at the cat at our apt in nothing but our underwear. How do you think it's going.
How the hell does my fucking boss know about the goddamned magician I fucked?!?
What do you mean? Just eat his food and have sex with him. Unless you want a relationship, then just eat his food.
I'm gonna give the church their tithe, and the rest is a down payment on boobs.
Apparently I repeatedly thanked the paramedic for saving the "happy new year" beads i was wearing. that bad.
I came home and drank a bottle of wine in the bathtub. I have AMAZING coping skills!!
Randomize
