Get out...Run...Or there's going to be a dick in your mailbox
I decided it would be a good time to smoke on one of my deliveries but then I got the munchies and ate a piece of the pizza I was freaking out so I told him it was our new pacman pizza
One person in the car. Three blizzards. Alot of judging.
There is a contact in my phone named "Bar Mcntysu." this is why we need a third person to go out with us.
I might have to break the "you stay out of my sister and ill stay out of yours" pact that i have with tim
The cute guy in my class hurt himself and is on crutches. My first thought was "Good. He'll be easier to take down." Like he's a gazelle and I'm a dick tiger. What's wrong with me?
I bet George Washington got SERIOUS head back in his hay day.
If this first date goes well and I like him, I won't sleep with him. But if it doesn't go well, I'll sleep with him.
That final makes me want to drink myself into the fetal position
we were sitting in the kitchen and you kept biting my shoulder saying "itll all be over soon"
I finally fell asleep and like an hour later he wakes me up and says "I've always to be woken up w a blowjob." Um, that's not how it works asshole.
I am seriously thinking about wearing a blanket as a cape. So when I pass out tonight the blanket might keep me warm.
If you need us, Zoe and I will be on my kitchen floor drinking Gatorade and crying
He climbed over 2 rows of the cab and told some random girl we were riding with that he would be in the back seat if she wanted to have sex
I hope that will b the last time i take off my pants in the chemistry building.
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