I found a dealer that takes plastic. I'm so in trouble.
I need to stop hooking up with boys in my major. three boys in one class is just a litttle too awkward.
I have fb friend requests from two random swedish brothers... Must have something to do with that hostel I stumbled into on mardi gras
he started drinking at 9am with grey goose and pancakes. He IS my hero.
He's eating a cream cheese sandwich. He's obviously distressed.
Question. Was fucking Laura an entirely regrettable decision?
like...quickly.
Can I come by? I want you to meet my squirrel
I'M CUDDLING WITH MY CAT AND THAT GUY SENT ME A DICK PIC. UNANNOUNCED DICK PICS ARE TERRIFYING AND MY CAT WILL NEVER BE THE SAME
It's like she fell out of an MTV reality show and no one knows how to send her back
She didn't complain to the library attendant about us being too loud. She complained after you grabbed her highlighter off the table to stir vodka into your tumbler with.
Take off your clothes and see if he wants to have sex, that's a good way to find out
We should probably start extreme couponing for the morning after pill.
It's alright. I'm just trying to make her realize you're not good enough for her.
What does it mean when the government shuts down and your boyfriends wife wants a divorce ON YOUR BIRTHDAY?
I don’t know what he is but he sure can suck a lollipop.
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