We succumbed to passion, and then he had to go meet his girlfriend. End of story.
a slip n slide in 50degree weather was the 2nd dumbest thing i have ever done. the 1st was hitting the wooden fence i believed was supposed to "help us stop"
He has 250 profile pictures. Of course he was a douchebag
I would say I am sorry for punching you last night, but I found the pictures you took on my camera and it all came rushing back.
When she was dating that guy she told me If they broke up, I would receive a call and no matter what I was doing I'd have to go over a fuck her. It's like being an EMT for sex.
But life isn't just all about getting drunk & eating chicken strips.
He just lit his joint with the tiki torches around his pool. He is definitely coming to my future parties
All I remember is this kid kept saying that he has a dream that white kids and black kids can take shots together as one, and just we'd keep drinking to that.
You peed on someones bathroom floor while saying people are rude for not flushing
I shall welcome him into my body with an open liver and completely lay down all chance of resistance. Sweet Zeus, please take me to Mt. Olympus and share all that is divine. I promise, the secrets will be safe with me
Quick question. How did my clothes end up in your room on your bed and I end up outside your room naked on your couch?
I'm eating tortillas right now. Like not cooked tortillas. Someone is playing the guitar. Man with bandana.
There's times when I just want to bottle my farts for later they're so insane.
Hey did you take a shower last night at like 4am?
"ummm...." (Thinking in my head) wet towel, soaking wet hair, clean pjs on backwards... "that would make more sense then what I thought happened..."
I should've negotiated that before I sat on his face.
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