You know you think of me naked too
Not since I found Jesus
I do no wrong. I am always right. Right? I forget why I am sending this. It seemed relevant.
i'm stoned. there's a jazz trio playing outside across the street...scared that mike myers will appear & start yelling 'woman...WHOA MAN. WHOOOA MAN.' i'm snapping my fingers.
You can't have hate sex in a hallway!!
seagrams + popov + pineapple + milk. there, ur search for worlds worst drink is over. you're welcome
Theres a truck parked on the front yard and i just want to take this opportunity to tell you now that it is not my fault.
He looks like he has a penis
What the fuck
A good one, a good penis
I am fine. Katie thinkr i broke things pole dancing. I am coherant.
broke the door off of my fridge tryin to have a indoor rodeo
I woke up next to her boyfriend and she woke up next to mine....
This is like a fucked up game of musical chairs.
We spilled a whole bottle of mouth wash and then proceeded to roll around and make out in it. At least I smell minty fresh.
KEG. KEG. THE OPERA HAS A KEG. KEG STAND IN A TUX. AFTER PARTY RAVE AND KEG STANDS.
We are magical, pot smoking, smart as hell, single as fuck, woodland dolphins.
Move ovrr Titanoc and all you others. Heres the real tale of woe. This ladys failed search for boozdy goodnezs.
hey im sorry i made fun of the color of your sheets, but like it was all i could focus on during sex because they were just THAT UGLY
Randomize
