pissed the bed twice, first one side then rolled over , other side. boom.
I just watched the Dark knight, Maggie Gylennhaal looks like Katie Holmes after a stroke
so stoned i ashed in my jack and coke like 4 times. drinking it anyway
i just had to google what happens if your dog eats your nuva ring
Still bad at ganbling. Still good at dringing.
Oh well shit happens. This is my not worried face. This is also my still decently drunk face.
do not give him the "i just had sex cake" i repeat DO NOT give him the cake. things didn't go well
My mom and I are having a "yay I don't have herpes" shopping trip day
doing a walk of shame covered in blue food coloring is only embarrassing if you make it embarrassing...actually no its embarrassing on all accounts
I just got checked out by a paramedic whilst their sirens were on. I'm doing something right
I promise it'll work. Just go there and keep the lights off and keep saying blaowww. She'll think your me.
Sorry I pissed in your dining room and kicked your best friend in the face while he was passed out.
I'm over my straight phase. They all turned out to be idiots and none of them got me off. I'm going back to hot girls with strap ons.
Good news. His dicks gotten wayy bigger since high school. I love Thanksgiving break.
You snapped me at 3am drunk laying on your floor asking if I knew how we couldn't have predicted the housing crisis.
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