he got wood on it!
i know. i had to sit in his lap on the plane. he also wore teva sandals.
...i was talking about hockey
Last night he was fingering me with one hand to his ear, calling himself 'dj clittles'
Thats what happens when go home with guys that wear shutter shades to the bar..
I'm pretty sure I'm almost gay. Like, I'd do it if I had no choice. Like, if i were in prison I'd try it.
you will always have a special place in my vag
I didn't think it was possible but there may actually be TOO MANY pictures of me tagged shotgunning.
Hahhaha I literally just rolled outta bed and went to get beer in my pj's and slippers. God I love graduating
Excuse me, but I got friendzoned and all I could think about was the fact that I didn't have my underwear back on yet.
Apparently at some point last night someone gave me tequila. There was a few shots left when I woke up so that was breakfast. This is a good birthday
Seriously considering modifying my computer case so it can dispense wine. I need to make a bunch of changes and reorganize it's guts anyway....
I walked so much yesterday and I was like holy fuck I need to do some cardio apart from sex cause this is ridic
can you please not set my house on fire for once???
I'll never lecture you, go get that dick baby girl make momma proud,I didn't raise no quitter
I dropped my pants and she just stared until she asked how is that even possible? Best night ever lmao
Just let a guy I just met eat me out in a shed at a baby shower. May have sunk to a brand new low
He’s exactly what I’m looking for: he’s got a broken heart, a working penis and a new boat!!!
Randomize
