Uhhh...do I owe you any money? Or an apology? Or anything?
dude im shwasted, kabul is not the best place for this
his recent searches consisted of "World record for not bathing" and "Miley Cyrus vs Taylor Swift". Not even i am that desperate.
we were all standing in the kitchen taking shots and we look over at you and your face is in the plate of spaghetti you were eating.
Just made everyone at my party download the vuvuzela app for iPhone, the neighbors absolutely HATE us
Does this sound normal?...She's ironing on pictures of her dead cat to all of her green clothes...
To put it in a frame of reference with which you're familiar, it was like making out with a golden retriever.
Omg. I have a story to tell you later about that girl that just crawled on stage
My boyfriend sold my favorite shoes right off my fucking feet last night outside the bar. It might have played a part in our breakup today.
Bro, you're like, my right testicle. Can't go anywhere without you.
Yeah that's a good idea.. I like to be responsible when I trip my nuts off
I just did a shot of Jameson and two shots of cuervo. Note: this is the moment things went down hill
Like I didn't gracefully walk into these feelings. No, I fucking stumbled and fell face fucking first.
Who put the toilet in the living room? This is extremely inconvenient right now.
I know you're having a really bad day and I'm a little to blame for that and I'm sorry. To make your day go better just try to imagine what people's fuck faces look like.
Randomize