Just be blunt and say drink from my dick
I came back to the apartment and he was waiting for me, covered in mustard.
needless to say I left
so high i just made my own version of grilled cheese using toast and spray cheese
here comes the puke
Dude i was hungover i didnt know she was in the shower, she screamed i screamed we all screamed and i just so happend to piss in the shower.
I would just watch. I wouldn't even have a boner cuz I would do so much coke. It would just be funny.
Someone just took a shot from my crotch. I should not have to drive home
My friend and I just coined a new term. OBJ. The obligatory blow job. You totally know what I'm talking about.
Like if he goes down on you first, or you just don't want to bone him yet. OBJ.
She keeps telling me I can't keep feeding the dog my food. I gave half the weed brownie to the dog and half to me. I just want it to taste the greatness of cheezits like I am.
my mom just told me I should hit it and quit apparently she does not like this new girl
It's official. Those are now your come fuck me flipflops
Definitely broke my toe and messed up my knee walking back. Drink hitch hiking should never happen again.
I walked out and he was covered in jelly, slithering around the floor. I don't know how to process that.
I almost stopped mid bj to let him know I appreciated his balls being nice to look at/have my face near. But I didn't know if that would ruin, or improve the moment.
I woke up this morning next to my computer with Google search results for "how to put out a fire."
I'm very scared to turn around.
Cats are difficult to handle. Also they are impossible to baptize.
Randomize
