dude she's married.
so? a ring don't cover no holes.
our school mascot just walked into class and threw condoms everywhere. welcome to college
I just saw someone marching around outside wearing only a loincloth, dragging a fuckton of sheet metal. Spring has Sprung.
so when we were booking the hotel and plane tickets for vegas we reserved a chapel for someone, it's inevitable.
She came to the party with six kegs and a life sized portrait of Lavar Burton. SHE WILL BE MY WIFE.
Purse pizza: the pizza you buy before the club, and you eat on the train home. I thought you knew me by now!
Puked in the trees at home depot, I told everyone it was fertilizeerr
I'm sorry I did drugs then got really loud and bitchy at your party and judged your choice in one night stands.
So she just had an emotional breakdown over a birthday card with a peacock on it. Yeah. She's pretty drunk, but we made it home safely.
He can't just hit it and quit it and then eat your pop tarts on his way out.
I woke up naked with my work shoes on
I think my pussy is going to freeze to the ground
I'm so high right now that I winked back at a character in this TV show.
Yes, ur purse got stole with our condo keys in it but my slut ass saved us and we had a place to stay, AND I got to choke a motherfucker while riding him. Thats taking one for the team.
The party pretty much ended once she shit on the couch
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