Have fun fixing the bed from last night Bob Villa.
At least you didn't call me Brittany this time
I don't know how this happened but I got an email thanking me for being a Waffle House regular. HOW DO THEY KNOW?? Maybe I need to stop going there shitfaced.
Is it bad that your cum tickles when I swallow it?
the plan is to continue having sex with all three of them until my birthday, and then once they've given me their presents, they can find out about each other.
It's only 4 pm and I'm already way past my preferred quota of "could have died" moments
omg theres cum all over the american flag and now its up in front of his house.
I'm the brains and you're the boobs of this operation.
I thought I was smashed last night but the girl trying to pee in the fridge had me beat. True story.
Remember that mom/daughter stripper team? Well i just met the ex husband/father in AA. WOW!!!! WOW....
Hey super random I have you in my phone as "downtown likes to go fishing girl" haha does that sound like you
I fear our relationship is coming to an end. Last night I felt the need to bloody apologise for waking him up with a blow job.
I almost had a threesome in a giant beanbag chair. I love college.
Are you drunk already?
Not already - at LAST.
Just realized how behind i am. Will gradually increase drinking until i don't remember that i missed an entire year of class.
One of my nipples looks nothing like the other...i don't know how this happened
Randomize
