you should wait a day or two to break up with your girlfriend
why?
so we can have sex in the meantime. It adds a little excitement.
i'd like someone to explain to me why my clothes are all sticky. including my fanny pack. yes, this is a mass text.
Ever since I discovered that youporn works on blackberry, my brickbreaker skills have gone to shit
i'm sorry, i thought "hey, she wants TO FUCK YOU" was a good enough cue
2nd night home for break and we had to call the fire department to keep the house from burning down. At this rate I'll be lucky to see you next semester.
So, I'm playing the Doctor Who drinking game with my dogs, but they don't understand quite when to drink. Still counts as successful, though, right?
I just want school to he over so we can build a big tent, do drugs inside it, and watch cartoons until the sun comes up.
That's all I've ever wanted.
Using a miniature baseball bat to kill a mosquito in the house may not have been the most efficient or safest way, but that thing is fucking dead. However, so are three wine glasses, a lamp, and my baseball bat privileges. Worth it.
i had a mental breakdown over a math asignment proposed to a glass of chocolate milk then burned my hands when i acidentally leaned on the stove i have the grill marks burned on my hands i can see them
its only been 20 minuts since i last saw you
I'm starting to think that birthday sex is just an urban legend. Like the boogey man, and woman orgasms.
WTF I can't even get a boyfriend here and you're getting nudes from across the country
People trash cargo shorts, but I'm like, sorry I had room for beers and you didn't.
I'm officially disproving the fact that a hoe never gets cold bc this hoe is COLD.
One can only be this extremely wet once a year and I feel like I'm bitch slapping god by not using this gift he has bestowed on me.
Just bought shot glasses from the thrift store. I think the guy buying a winter coat was even judging me.
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