So I had sex with him again. He's still got it. Not chlamydia, he got rid of that.
I thought spray tan was a myth
?
You know, something that only happens in Jersey
When i walked in, you were in bed with a hot chick rolled up in a green blanket and said you were acting like a caterpillar..
We decided to smoke and then made crosses on our foreheads for ash wednesday
mom would be proud
this dude just took some girl under your house for half an hour. you may have helped a 17 year old fuck on the beach for the first time. congrats.
I just realized I am holding a beer in 133 out of 134 photos of me on my facebook page.
Nobody is perfect
I'm at Waffle House wearing one of the paper hats in the other
Yea idk it was like early in the morning and you were walking around with no shoes carrying a printer
He dared me to drink a bottle of olive oil in exchange for a 30 pack... So much for loosing the freshman fifteen this year.
currently waiting for her to check in on Facebook, the second she does I'm there. someone is getting laid tonight
I'm not stalking, she is pretty much begging me to come find her if she checks in
she pretty much pinned my hand to her boob "on accident" for like 10 seconds before she moved. Waiting the rest of the night was just a formality.
btw my ex came by last night and saw the pregnancy test intructions. awkwarrrrd.......
She said she wouldn't get out of hand. When the cops showed up she jumped off the 4ft high porch and fell into a ditch. She then buried herself because she was wearing light pants and though the light from the cops flashlights would reflect off her pants. We couldn't find her for 40 minutes.
I danced with a french guy who licked the sweat off my neck and poured a drink on me. Not gonna lie, that shit was refreshing
On a scale of 0 to Thanksgiving, there is no amount of food that fights against tequila.
Sometimes I get confused on who I really actually know and who's lives I just know everything about via internet. Its a fine line
Randomize
