I think they should rename 16 and pregnant to "I was fucked in highschool and all I got was a baby and humiliated infront of the nation on MTV"
So how was awkward coffee with forgets-your-name?
on the way home the dog started throwing up her bone in the car..so naturally i started to puke too
She said her first boyfreind was so small she is still technically a virgin.
I have realized now that neither the top nor bottom of a bunk bed is safe for sex....
My glasses are somewhere in your living room. Also, my underwear might be in your bathroom or on or around your porch. Sorry.
We left your bucket of puke on your doorstep to clean out yourself. You're welcome.
We're gonna go drive around campus and throw water balloons at all the drunk bitches wobbling around, wanna come?
i'll probably be on drugs forewarning
forewarning i'll probably have done those drugs with you
FYI your bra is now hanging in the hallway as a trophy.
Best case scenario: sex with hot bartender \nWorst case scenario: no sex and punched by tattooed guy that may or may not be said bartenders boyfriend.
There must be a happy medium universe where you get it on with my girlfriend enough to cause me pain but not a full on cardiac arrest. It's a fine line to tread though.
If someone made a breakfast cereal that was a cross between lucky charms and fruity pebbles and called it unicorn power with a huge fucking rainbow and a unicorn standing in a pot of gold on the box, they would be rich. Not only monetarily but spiritually as well...
I am. I woke up on someone's front lawn dressed as max Payne also be proud.
It's like sleep walking but with blowjobs
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