I can't get into him, he looks really young. I'd feel like I was blowing the Gerber baby.
we sang an acapella version of barbara ann to his voicemail...i'm not drinking again until tuesday.
Anyone ask you how much a bj cost yet? That shirt is so whorish
I'm gonna die fat and alone and all they will find is pizza crusts
She made Precious look like a solid 6.5.
Want to come to my BBQ and Blow party?
I just remember taking her cat for a walk around 3 am then falling asleep in a slide at the park
I had fun watching you interact with the world around you. Like a fuckin 8 year old kid who just discovered build a bear but really wants a cigarette.
I was desperately holding on to my sandwich while we had sex.
I spent ten minutes questioning her on what kind of cup she wanted... Then I asked what kind of water she wanted..
WOAH TOO HIGH
In other news it turns out I like Heineken.. In a desert island kind of way
If you get home and there is an older woman there, its my mom. She wants to come and see the place after work. Just an FYI. Not the older sluts I bang.
The number of threesomes I have agreed to seems to increase every time I talk to you drunk...
I just want to buy drugs without having to pay an arm and a leg for it. Is that a horrible thing to ask for?
I mean, it's not like you can exactly complain to the manager and higher ups about it.
i puked in a jesus candle last night and then denied it... i'd say it was a pretty alright night
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