Who knew there were guys that wanted to only stalk you instead of date you? Count on me to find them!
well recently, every guy I have hooked up with has been economy sized
i think the sales of Rosetta Stone are directly related to the size of that woman's tit's
there needs to be a build-a-bong store...
my being single is dangerous.
Why do you apologize after every time we have sex?
Is it sad that I woke up to more "Happy Holidays" texts on 4/20 than I did on Christmas?
Then you can skip the embarrassing can I date your ex since you're a lesbian now conversation
Tonight's trip to the ER was brought to you by, "fork jousting."
So we'll go out later for condoms and cake batter... aka grocery shopping for champions.
Moments after comforting her about her boyfriend issues I found myself in the other room showing him my tits.
The guy who bit me so hard two nights ago that I had to put Neosporin on my nipple and the guy in my bed right now are two different people. Help
I plan on drinking enough to kill at least 2 frat boys and make an aa meeting weep for joy
My phone just said I texted someone at 430a and said let's fight. Then I texted them an hour later and said thanks.
Are we planning this because I am online looking for places with a Mechanical bull
Randomize
