Before you ask, yes. Whatever you're wearing IS too slutty for his mom's funeral.
He had a beer bottle in each of his back pockets and was on rollerblades. All I remember is following him for about 10 minutes
Yea, i was tied up and blindfolded. And someone was throwing chicken nuggets at my face.
Did I at antime last saturday slip away and sign up for a prayer circle?
Held my professor's hair back while she was puking. I'd better get an A out of this or else the pics are going on Facebook.
Shes definitely an expert at this. Her happy hour goes from 4 to 11, then she starts drinking heavy. She also allots 15 minutes each hour for a pee/bj break
You can't text people with drinkers' regret at 8 in the morning. It's just bad form.
My whole sorority girl exterior is just a lie. I'm a fat tumblr girl on the inside.
Moral of the story: always keep condoms in your bra
You can't do wine Netflix and blow jobs in the bed you've had since 5th grade with your parents downstairs
Leaving Denver airport I just saw a group of young Republicans in matching green T-shirts that said "4/20 Baby!"
Why do I like him? He literally has no redeeming qualities.
I'm so happy we share a mutual love of laughing at religion.
Btw I definitely had pizza sauce on my face, a painful hickey on my neck, and I just remember screaming SISTER WIVES because of the girl's 1997 jean skirt! Wow.
Can you please come in my room and pour water in my mouth? Too hungover to move. btw who is this guy in my bed? Can't see his face. Cute?
Randomize
