My roommate still talks on AIM. What is this middle school?
my ex just saw me in his brothers bed. fuck yes revenge feels good
we're all still whores. we just have a theme song now.
i lost my phone in the process of getting a condom out of my hair
don't worry about the poodle she's always like that. she's like 14 years old and ate a bag of weed when she was a puppy.
I don't think I can handle being a slut. There is a lot more emotional stress that I never realized.
we're havin a 400 loko party for joe pa's 400th win. come get loko
He's spent his last 3 years working at Urban Outfitters. No, I'm not sad I missed out on a life of mustaches, the dollar menu and shitty scarves.
On the brightside though, I found the motivation to clean my shower, it was right underneath my need to masturbate in said shower.
Its like the unofficial aniversary of the loss of her virginity. And I will be giving tours of the spot they did it in and showing how I'm serious when I say the grass doesn't grow there anymore.
What a dumb baby whore.
There is a glee sing along. It's on random and they know them all. Like, the specific glee timings and pauses. I need to leave. I need to escape
I just screamed IM THE CHUPACABRA and jumped on his dick. I need to evaluate my life choices.
Dude, exfoliate your balls. you'll thank me later.
So technically I made out with my second cousin this weekend... But it's by marriage and I'm adopted, so it's ok.
Randomize
