i kno its fucked up..but id rather sleep it off than seek medical attention right now
Her eyes are really red like she jus got out of the hospital and shes coughing ...80 ppl at her school do have swine flu dude
So your saying just a blow job?
you just stared at your feet and said some shit about the molecules dancing and how you had just solved physics.
I interrupted her conversation with, "are we gonna fuck yet?" and she immediately got naked. thanks for the blind date
her face looked like how i feel after Taco Bell
I've never had a better reason to do blow of a Pittsburgh strippers ass than to try and keep pace with my dad.
What can I say? When alcohol is my motivation, I can move mountains.
last night he took my thong off with his teeth... god bless champagne
He brought a TOOTHBRUSH and TOOTHPASTE with us on our date..... I want to go home and forget I ever decided to be nice and go on this date in the first place...... A TOOTHBRUSH!?!?!
Apparently drinking in your car before going into a sales meeting is frowned upon. We are car sales men not doctors.
Have you ever felt like autocorrect is judging you with its suggested words? Like how it won't suggest certain words until you type in pretty much the entire word, is it just thinking 'No way did this dude use "consent laws" in the same sentence as "17th?" Or is that just me.
i projectile vomited shoeless at 7:30 a.m. in a taco bell parking lot. never again.
We probably shouldn't have humped each other in a stairwell for an hour. that was probably my bad
you ate an entire watermelon by using a CD as a spoon, then proceeded to chuck the leftovers at some dudes car...
I came and sneezed at the same time. Words can't describe how awesome it was.
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