Don't interrupt me, I have a limited time to be high and thus be remarkably good at Pac Man
I hope you shit your pants in a socially devastating situation.
Eating hibachi. The chef is squirting sake into my mouth with a ketchup bottle. Happened twice, more to come.
The best time of year to be high is WHEN THE KING CAKES ARE HALF OFF BECAUSE MARDI GRAS IS OVER YEEEEEEEEEEEEAAAAAAAAHHHHHHHHH
I just realized I'm not towing a trailer. I thought this whole drive home I was towing a trailer. Wow too high
It looks like sephora exploded on his dick, so i assumed I was the second girl that gave him head that night.
But seriously he was like a god with his hands. My vagina feels annointed.
One huge ass giant mistake followed by celebatory shots and coors lights thats my day in a nut shell
You should kill a bro for me and drag his carcass home so I can study him.
So I went tanning and I burned my boobs.
They're like sad pomegranates.
He said bring my breathalyzer and Anna's pepper spray, I didn't ask questions
Not as much as my roommate, who is in the middle of one of the pictures throwing a lawn chair at a cop car lol.
I couldn't even tell you how many times I've said "wrong hole" today
Why do I have this feeling like this is heading in a slightly threesome-y direction
The taste of regret at 8am, yup that taste is Jack Daniel's
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