so that wasnt chicken after all
if sarah has 12 dollars and spends 6 of it on cheap booze how much will she spend on hangover food the next morning?
4 on the dollar menu at mcdonalds
mom cant say that college never taught us math
we were so high last night we were cutting bread with my iphone
is it bad that i have made the decision to never travel to vienna simply because of that transvestite that won the bachelor?
dont start drinking without me
he put a lighter in my cleavage and said "you're like another pocket!"
Look, all I'm sayin is $2 boilermakers and an expense account are probably a bad mix…
She played chubby bunny with our cocks.. She got 4
This is one of those times where I really wish my vagina could tell me what happened last night.
Not a chance. She stuck her hand under my kilt and she told the whole table I was indeed commando. She broke all the rules.
Dude I just ripped my new jeans climbing out the window so his booty call wouldn't realize I was home. Being his roommate should come with hazard pay
ugh... fuck pirate breakfast. my head is like thirsty.
It is super hard to find a good vegan dominatrix! THAT'S why I'm single
It was like a baby arm holding another baby arm holding an apple grove. Fuckin huge!
Last night I made out with two lesbians while dancing with another girl. I'm pretty sure it wasn't even real life.
What did you spend the night in her closet?
She said she was saving me for breakfast and locked me in there
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