So I don't think its herpes anymore. Could be a sign of diabetes though. Is it bad that I consider getting diabetes 'dodging a bullet'?
dude thats like the second time shes peed on the couch at a party. we cant invite her anymore
i wish i had the videos of us pissing on him last night.
I should start riding the bus again so I can drink all day
I'm so prepared to puke on walk of shame tomorrow that I'm putting a toothbrush and toothpaste in my purse the night before. And to think, my dad thought I wouldn't make it in college.
Btw, just wanna point out that you've hooked up with two guys whose birthdays are today. Congratulations, you have a type!
Happy heartbreak day....you got chocolates, I'm eating them/ throwing them out the window at passing couples
I wish your snatch was here
If my snatch could sprout wings I'd fly to you
Going through Bojangles drive thru chanting "KFC" hammered at 8:00 was the highlight.
The neighbor just yelled bring me back that big red alien penis.
The girl neighbor.
turns out my ex girlfriend has become my most successful wingman. life is fuckin weird sometimes
Never play truth or dare with a girl who carries a dildo in her purse. I'll never go to a Denny's again.
Also, totally got laid in my yellow rubber boots and it was awesome.
sorry I called you to cry about the state of the neopets economy
How ya feelin' champ?
Like a million bucks that was soaked in alcohol.
Randomize
