It was so delicious I was introducing it to people. Guy from my psych class was like "This is my girlfriend, Erica," and I was like, "This is my milkshake, Oreo."
id like to point out that while i was just peeing a condom fell out of my vag.
As I was puking last night I told them "it's ok I'm a paramedic"
Going to get yelled at but I labeled the reel "four dried up sluts decide going to the middle east to shop during a war is the best idea ever"
Mass Text: Free blowjob to first person to bring me a nacho cheese chalupa.
She's either too fat to type, hammered or has terrible spelling.
Do you remember calling me and dedicating a shot to me?
I actually enjoy jerking off to her facebook more than I enjoy actually fucking her. Just something with our generation
Sober now. I'm really glad I didn't try to make out with that guy who has a pregnant fiance
At least I remembered to wear a bra. I feel like that's a big accomplishment right now
We broke into her grandpa's pool at 2 am and I held my underwear out the window on the way home.
They've taken all the lighthearted fun out of S&M.
I am so horny that I an legitimately concerned for your safety when I see you tonight.
Woke up in a car, do you own a silver car parked a few miles form the house...hope so
Why are you barefoot at a strip club?
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