My head feels like little people r playing bumper cars inside it
So i decided to deal with the awkwardness of last night by making out with all three of them
i just got cum up my nose. i would have expected more from the captain of the men's lacrosse team
Do you think my parents will accept my drinking habits more if I told them I like to drink every night because I take good shits the next morning?
Not quite sure what happened last night. I'll drive your dresser over to you later.....
My professor just used the phrase "balls deep in your mind". My day is officially made.
What are you wearing tonight?
The colors of the winddddddd
Stop giving guys blow jobs because you're no good and it's messing up my sex life. Word gets around & then they think it's me and don't believe me when I say I have a twin. Learn to stuck dick right.
My mom just walked in and she was like "Who ate all of the cheese?" and all I could think of was you trying to become a human taco
I talk a lot when I drink rum. he was going down on me and i was telling him how i wished i could tap dance. oh god
Is it inappropriate to be Drs. Willy Fister and Jess Hewill as a couples costume for Halloween?
Oh we're gynecologists
his daughter has his phone and goesss ohhh boobies and shows me a picture of my own tits...
We did Irish Car Bombs out of butter trays, the influence of the retired community is astounding- I didn't know people even owned more than one butter tray.
What happens if you die with an erection? Does it stay hard? Disclaimer: I'm high.
I feel like I purchased a one way ticket to hell last night and its non refundable.
Randomize
