She was lying the whole time!
She was a great actress
I was a great dumbass
I had a dream last night that Anthony Bourdain gave me a vibrator.
I love Japanese schoolgirls with short skirts riding bikes on windy days.
You're never coming back, are you?
he found my favorite bra, 3 thongs and a pair of jeans and gave them back. i love move out day.
I'm buying drugs in the library...And it's not even finals time. What has my life become?
my mom found me passed out in the kitchen floor with the Brita pitcher.. Happy Mothers Day
I feel so much better about my break up knowing that he's having his 26th birthday at Rollar kingdom\n
DON'T YOU TELL ME I HAVE HERPES ON MY BIRTHDAY. THAT IS MOST DEFINITELY NOT A HAPPY BIRTHDAY.
I just instagramed a picture of an ostrich in case you were wondering what I did with my night
We share an apartment, weed and genitals. It's called being practical not in love.
Sorry I wore your bra during sex last night
That jawline could fucking have its way with me.
The girl in the hotel room next to us walked out at the same time as me this morning. She just shook her head, looked at me and said, "faker." Is it that easy to tell?!??
You took nana to a bar?!
she suggested it
Just broke into the basement of my house via my american red cross blood donor card. I officially save lives
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