I thought he was joking about bailing you out until I saw the picture of you and the sheep in the morning paper. Were those my boots you had on it
somehow we got the entire party to start singing "ill make a man out of you" from mulan. needless to say, that kid had the best keg stand i'd ever seen.
Leave it to him to get us kicked out of a bar for hitting on an 80 year old woman. I want to be that wasted one day.
Repeat the weekend mantra. "I like boys with teeth, I need boys with teeth, I deserve boys with teeth, I will have boys with teeth".
well in DOG beers, i've only had one
They have a booking log online so i can just check that instead of call
Technology: making bailing your sister out easier since 2008
I just want to let it be known that I almost put my phone in the fridge.
I'm remembering the time we thought it was a brilliant idea to put koolaid powder in shots of goldschlager
I just told my mother my "if there are drugs I'm only taking them if I don't have to pay" rule and witnessed her perception of my shatter and crumble behind her eyes.
I lost a shoe at the club last night, I think that's when I decided to go home.
It was an all night sausage fest and I was the lady of honor.
I just spent the last three days trying to hook up with a dude for his pool privileges
Don't go to jail over some guy named Bunky
Is there such thing as a tasteful dick pic? I think I just got one if they exist.
I just thought I should tell you that I always know what you are doing. Everywhere. Every time. -Your loving Mother
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