dude. late night with jimmy fallon isnt even funny. the people in the audience there to see him dont even think hes funny.
kinda like you and your friends.
The girl in the white might have stds. I'm strangely okay with this.
I've hooked up with three guys in my accounting class. I'm beginning to think my teacher failed me so I can start getting laid again.
OMG bikini contest at the bar. You can see this one chicks scar from her c-section and I'm pretty sure she is the best of the bunch.
HIS TAN HAS PUT ME TO SHAME. HE TOOK HIS PANTS OFF AND HIS DICK LOOKED LIKE A GHOST
He rolled up to the party in an ice cream truck. He was definitely my first priority
We're following a guy carrying a door for beer pong at his place..join us when you are deemed sober enough to leave the hospital.
I know. I feel like I should be doing mature responsible adult things though. Like getting loans, working 60 hours every week and not eating burritos in bed, ya know?
Just took physics exam. I think this is one of those 'chuck it in the fuck-it bucket and become an art major' days
I feel worse lying to the guy I hooked up with than I actually do for cheating on my bf
Wait, but now I'm curious. In what position were y'all when the cops came? Were you guys butt ass naked in the car? 😂😂
If you ever tell anyone I offered you boob squeezes for cheetos, I'll kill you
lets face it, we have a liquor cabinet with a designated chocolate shelf
GOOD MORNING! This is your wake up call! Just incase this text wasn't enough, I had sex on your bed last night while you were drunk hitting on my sister. Dan jizzed on your pillow! We rubbed it on both sides! Now get up and go to class!
Convinced if I was being murdered in my house no one would come and save me. If no one heard my 10000000 orgasms last night, there is no hope.
Randomize
