Tell her she's as useless as a condom.
we need to get ahold of those "sexting" teens on tyra. HAWT!
wasnt one 13?
if three guys were standing in front of you and they differed only in the hairiness of the groin who would you choose: smooth as a baby's bottom, the grass lands or the amazon jungle?
i think you're getting too neurotic about why she won't touch you.
i gave him the "yep, i was your girfriend's collegiate lesbian sex story" head nod
I would do laundry with you but I vaguely remember swallowing all my quarters last night as some kind of trick.
WHY are the edges of my bra charred???
i robbed the continental breakfast last night
I know. I need to get a vagina tranquilizer.
It was a deal breaker when she told me not to wear a condom and god would decide if we were meant to be together.
The cleaning lady even cleaned my bong. I'm scared to open my sex toy drawer and see if and how she organized it
She's going to be the first to die of too much illness. Not even super bad stuff like cancer but like for having a cold at the same time as a sore throat and chlamydia or something. Just too much diseases.
I told the American that we should start banging in Canada incase I get hurt and have to go to the hospital.. is that rude to say?
I got laid two nights in a row
And none for Gretchen Wieners...
I told him I wanted to fuck him and he hasn't texted me back in 4 days...am I missing something
As your friend, I promise I will drink a full bottle of vodka and belly slide down the stairs with you if that test is positive
Randomize
