idk, it's all black and i hear low talking...
dude, i think you're in initiation!
shit. that's not good.
im at a bar with my dad last night and he got hit on more that I did
Why didn't you tell me that Dad was a registered sex offender?
We were going to tell you eventually, how'd you find out?
Our school resource officer showed us how to use Family Watchdog and pulled up his picture.
question: from what angle do you give a hand job. im confused..
just shaved my legs at the gas station bathroom before going to the club. is that too ghetto?
I just saw a woman point to her daughter and scream at her husband THIS IS YOUR GENES, THIS IS YOU.
I come back into the room and you're grinding with the person in the mascot suit.
New development. Drinking at work is so easy and awesome I might have to do it everyday.
I'm posted up in the bathroom at au bon pain, high as balls, experimenting with eyeshadow combinations and listening to 90s jlo. The girl in the stall next to me just plopped a big one and I laughed, hope I ruined her day
At one point 12 people dressed in care bear onesies were up on stage grinding super nasty, and two of the girl Care Bears were making out.
If this wasn't a hallucination, we need to go to this magical kingdom every night of the week.
This feeling I'm having... is it love or a combination of alcoholism and unprotected rough sex
Awk. Hanging with her while messaging her ex about sex injuries he gave me
I'm really going to need you to stop yelling Campari.
The awkward moment your booty call shows up to the Mexican restaurant and realizes you just picked burritos over pussy
As a rule...I don't sleep with my friends or watch movies with talking dogs
Randomize