oh my god im such an asshole. i just asked the guitarist of bad religion if he was a scalper.
I am drunk raised to the nth degree. The possibility of getting sick is approaching infinity.
Do you think this abandoned cigarette has herpes? cuz I'm tempted.
and I asked her"are you allergic to condoms latex like your older sister " she said "Idk this is gonna be my 1time"
or how I got to mom's but there is vomit on my shoes. I never thought i'd be recapping with her.
Did you not learn anything for "HERPES SCARE 2010".........
Ok, Jen and I are going out tonight and getting rowdy. I think you and Steph need to come. I understand if you can't, but not going out means you're automatically obligated to post bail. If necessary.
My masturbation fantasy just had a wedding theme. I need new hobbies.
I shit you not ... they just advertised a recruiting service for strippers at this concert.
I sat on my couch last night watching What Women Want, eating ice cream, and sobbing "why doesn't she like me?" Why was I born a man?
I don't think I've ever had this many people offer me blow before. 3 o'clock on a Thursday. I keep good company.
Also, you think turning 23 is bad, I just ran into the guy that gave my chlymidia
Did you come home, throw out a ton of shoes, then leave again?
That is exactly what I did.
Well, if I'm gonna go gay, it's gonna be for NPH
I was just in the bathroom and some guy yelled all hail the king... i cant go anywhere without getting recognized anymore.
Randomize