We're playing Edward Bottle-of-eight-dollar-sale-wine-hands now
Girl farted next to me in class and then denied my high five
Did I crawl through the hotel lobby all the way to our room?
A man pulled out his penis last night and when I said I wouldn't touch it, he said, "that's fine it just needs to breathe".
I don't think you seem to understand this concept. WHEN A GAY GUY HANDS YOU A DAIQUIRI, YOU DRINK IT.
I opened my package from my mom today. She put four bottles of tequila in the bottom under my ducky slippers. She knows me way to well.
I bet George Washington got SERIOUS head back in his hay day.
he calls himself the gay cupid because he matches two guys looking to hookup on craigstlist with each other. get me out of here. please.
He came on my pillow pet. That's unacceptable. I hate boys.
is there a way to say "yea i broke my wrist cause i fell down some stairs while tripping my face off on acid" without actually saying it?
Have you ever hotboxed under your comforter? Best. Decision. Ever.
COCAINE AND SUSPENSFUL BBC SHOWS DO NOT WORK.
HOW THE FUCK IS IT POSSIBLE THAT THE JUNIOR HIGH STUDENT IS BETTER AT BEING AN ADULT THAN I AM!?!?
She was here for a threesome... She doesn't have to put the new roll of toilet paper on the dispenser. She can leave the new roll wherever she wants!
Okay, but that still doesn't explain all the glitter in my puke.
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