maybe you should take the dick out of your mouth before you start talking.
i did. i'm using it as a microphone.
Just got a call at work, I have to consent to a random drug and alcohol test by end of business day, if you arranged this it's the best/worst April fools prank ever.
the room spins SO much faster in panama
The really sad thing is that I actually practiced crawling in my room yesterday in preparation for today
She is wasted and this random lady got her to suckle milk from her tit
she said i was like a little lamb and she felt bad for luring me into her den of sin. then she blew me.
Being a virgin isn't supposed to be this easy for you.
i think the sex is so good because i get a contact high just from fucking him
the first cop to show up was this girl who hooked up with our home ec teacher in high school, she knows about questionable decisions
bought even stevens on dvd and enough weed and pizza bagels to last us a week.. ready to get snowed in?
Also this just in, I think you could see my sequins underwear that say unwrap me through my leggings all day while I hung out with his family
I wrote a pretty good eulogy, too. Motherfucker pastor had no sense of comedic timing.
well we woke up in different beds than the ones we originally fell asleep in, you were butt naked, and your boyfriend was sleeping on a cot in the middle of the kitchen. that might be why he's mad.
Hope you’re getting action boo.
Definitely no. I woke up next to a bag of McDonald's.
Plan b and 5 hour enegery breakfast of a champion
I'm about to take plan-b with a glass of wine and ramen noodles. I cannot decide who will hurt more...my vagina, my kidneys or my pride.
Randomize
