I just rolled a spliff on a dora the explorer tv tray. Preschool education meet afterschool special.
what made it akward was his girlfriends dog watching us have sex
I mean I'm forever immortalized as the one who puked in his dad's straw hat.
where's my purse there's an important taco in it
At one point, you closed your eyes and asked me which 'six flags' we were at
I just sprawled out on my bedroom floor and cried while shoveling chocolate into my mouth.. I should not have Bacardi at home
Think I just subconsciously wanted a cigarette and started sleep walking to Carl's.. Didn't realize what I was doing until I found myself in an elevator.
They put me in room 420 every time and I take bubble baths and smoke in the room and they bring food TO MY BED
the night was just a blur of sex and pie
I finally figured out how to tighten my bra straps and I feel like a god
Update: drank half a bottle of Bourbon and texted three ex's. Waiting for the roommates to go to sleep so I can raid the fridge.
Not bad. Ran into Carlo. He shared a story about a sailor who got gonorrhea in his eye. It made me feel better about myself.
You were in no condition to manage a 3-way.
Why r u in my phone under "the last survivor"?
He doesn't understand the concept of a strip club. He keeps falling in love
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