That's intense
farters have to be the big spoon...
Oh and then this old man who saw it happen goes "don't do that"
Hahaha what a helpful old man. Like you thought it was normal to be spilling gas everywhere.
so i wake up and the chick who i had sex last night left her phone number. next to the number was a broken condom. should i call?
he drunkenly pissed himself on the deck, in the bathroom, and on my couch within the span of an hour
its like an avodart commercial...maybe he has a growing problem
Do you think if you have sex with a girl twin, her twin brother feels it to? Woke up at her house and they both have a look of disappointment on their faces.
Hefty paycheck and not get wasted can't exist in the same night
This is America. Deny every slut accusation or own up to it
I had so much drainage I couldn't moan properly. Fuck allergy season
this night just went from meh to biblical thanks to drunk naked yahtzee
Last night I got drunk on margaritas at an Irish pub and came home with only one shoe. I have to get my shit together.
You really know how to show Monday who's boss.
He said I could stop sending ass pics now and just say hello. I'm not sure if that means he's no longer interested, or that he's a gentleman??
I woke up naked with a duck on my head. I think something went horribly wrong.
I know you’re not my dad, but you’re someone dad. And you’re also like a second dad to me who I also send nudes to as well. Happy Father’s Day
If you need me I'll be in the hospital involving super glue and fake eyelashes.
Randomize
