I hope you had to get up out of bed and walk across your room to check this text message
i told the bartender last night that if the palace saloon made a calendar he would be every month.
he turned two sober chicks into 7 drunken girls...he's my hero
he's speaking broken english and calling me isaac.. this is not the australian i ordered for a one nighter
I just watched the lion king for the first time in years. It's like the equivalent of a really good blow job.
Thanks for the cold. I shartted and sat through a whole soccer game. James made 3 scores.
I have got to stop letting people hang ornaments from my nipple ring.
Tis the season.
Hopefully this dress says "let me rent your house" and not "let me suck your dick for money"
I need a good cry or an orgasm and neither of them are gonna happen to me and i'm so frustrated
Nope. Too much basics going on right now. I'm tying you both up and throwing you to the vibrating sexy toy sharks. You shall either sink or get off gloriously.
So you can text and rub it at the same time? Bravo.
I can do anything and masturbate, if I truly wanted to.
Did you know that chef boy-ar-dee was a real person? I watched a show about him. the history of the ravioli is more scandalous than you would think.
Who knew she had talents apart from chugging wine spritzers
I’m literally watching say yes to the dress, eating fancy cheeses with crackers, and I have orange dark chocolates. All of which is being washed down with merlot. And I’m 100% sure a porno is gonna go down next door tonight. They don’t have a car and arrived via taxi. Happy holidays from motel 6 Pendleton Oregon!
Fuuuuuck dude, he’s got #Excel in his Facebook bio; I’m screaming
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