she was definitely wearing a bumpit. i think it was the hollywood bumpit. i told her that i lived with my parents to get outta taking her home.
I will fuck a handful of worms if you hold them
then she woke up from sleeping for an hour and the first thing she said was "i regret it already"
I actually had no interest in him until he started talking about his 4 arrests. That made him go from a 5 1/2 to a 8, easily.
You were throwing ham at people telling them you were the sandwhich fairy
You got the eggs out of the fridge and yelled "my chickens are beasts at making eggs" and then pegged them at the ceiling and at a couple who were making out
Curled up in the fetal position, trying not to throw up or think about my future, and humming songs from musicals to myself. You?
It's like the sisterhood of the traveling vaginas over here
I feel like I got hit by a bus. A head on collision with my vag.
google maps should a have a setting for this. like I AM ABANDONING EVERYTHING TO MEET A GIRL WHO IS 10 HOURS OF MILES AWAY. HOW DO WE DO THIS OPTIMALLY?
this celing is unfamiliar to me... im just vaguely wondering where i am. but not quite concerned enough to do anything about it.
I just saw two homeless guys bond over the fact that they both use Crown Royal bags as wallets in Burger King.
You're too young to have this sort of Grizzled Old Drunk In Roadside Bar wisdom.
Running my fingers through my hair is like that scene from Patch Adams where the girl goes swimming in a pool of spaghetti. I love molly.
NO NINJA FIGHTING AT THE GAS STATION
Randomize
