Bc you can definitely buy condoms if ur a 14 year old girl
i swear to god, this restaurant is playing a john tesh cover of a song from aladdin
I have a pussy blister if you wanna poke at it with a needle tomorrow...by this text i realize just how strange our relationship is, especially because you're probably excited
I think you mean your blister is filled with pus...atleast i hope
Iiiiiii almost fall ib the lake
She's coming to town, taking me to a Suns Game, wants Anal, and knows we're not going to date, I imagine this is what heaven is like
Well at least he stopped keeping track of money by bottles of McCormick.
I love that the power of margaritas brought us back together.
He was like a foghorn with a huge penis.
No, I don't not want an upside down piggyback ride. You're drunk and there are rocks.
Why does She think it's her duty to welcome in freshman through the welcome mat that is her vagina
Our sex has gotten so much better since we broke up.
I really really need to have and out of body experience just so I can talk to myself about this shit that I'm doing with my life.
He got naked and made a run for the door so I had to stop him.
I just smoked weed with my physics professor. Tell me how my life is this.
I had a sex with someone last night and I was so drunk. i told him to tell me his whole name so I can say it back to him in a "sexy" way.... Because I forgot it
Randomize
