I want 2 things right now, you or a cig
cig
thats the last time i clean cum out of my retainer.
I want you more than these girls want KFC
We made a drinking game out of poaching eggs. When did our life turn into a really awesome version of Top Chef?
My scrabble letters just formed failure. Thanks God.
No shame. Just smoked a bowl with a Norwegian. Feels like something to cross off a list.
Goats are brash and offensive and cocky animals
Are you high and at a petting zoo again?
Is there really anything more beautiful than opening a fresh box of wine on a Friday afternoon?
you know you've had too much sex when your vagina hurts when you laugh
Somehow she is more off limits now than when she was his girlfriend
You also proposed and then tried to jack me off
I am one with the molecules
You tried paying your tab with the coaster
I ordered from the drive thru as i was peeing on the menu
But once you are just right and I work my tongue in the right spots and hot wax your balls and inner thighs. I will have you right where I want you.
Who is this?
Oops wrong number
Randomize
