Woke up this morning with one boob drawn on to look like the globe. Questionable?
Honestly, where the fuck is osama bin laden?
well what she called a "work function" most people call "doing shots with your boss while people throw napkins at you."
We already established this. No, he did not cum on the dog.
He sent me $300 worth of sex toys. My clitoris went into hiding after two days.
so now that i'm sober i just want to apologize for violating your back seat...... on a brighter note thank you for playing the little mermaid song "kiss the girl," really set the mood.
thanks for at least making it out of the pool before you threw up
My month off booze swimsuit season diet plan is working well. Plus I'm learning so much about my house, did you know a girl named Meagan lives here?
had a dream that i inhaled my pet bird and started choking. Then I tried smoking from a bong and suddenly I smoked myself inside out. this is what happens when I don't smoke weed. my brain can't function!
Three of my exes and one of my exes' brothers have hit me up and it's only been a week. I hate semester break.
I don't fucking know. He perched his parrot on his dick. I left after that.
Pooping with Eye of the Tiger playing. Not a single fuck shall be given.
Omg the sex was so good my ears popped. Thank god too. Cause then I didn't have to hear him going on and on about his dumbass feelings. It's called a booty call bitch.
dude, shes trippin so bad. idk what shes on, she just told me she doesnt remember her name then proceeded to get in the shower clothed to try to "rinse off the high"
Is it ok that I asked him half way through sex why he hadn't accepted my friend request yet?
Randomize
