Me= Watching Ferngully. My neighbor= Having really loud sex including multiple orgasms
Oh God
I know, but the worst part is I'm not really sure which I'd rather be doing. Feel free to re-evaluate our friendship
i wonder what barack obama's brickbreaker high score is...
How do the people at CVS not know your living in their bathroom?
I found bruises on my neck from barfing out the window.
The cops walked in to class and arrested 2 guys for possession.
Has anyone ever told you you're majestic like a sea turtle when you fuck?
And your cock privileges have been revoked.
Im hitting on this chick at a stoplight when all the sudden. i notice this chick blowing some dude in the backseat.
Hungover in church. I can feel stained glass Jesus judging me.
Ever since the Christmas fiasco of '08, I can no longer watch Rudolf the Red nosed reindeer without getting a hard on
doing the walk of shame back to your house in nothing but a bed sheet was definitely not one of my proudest moments..
i just want to die with dignity and clean teeth, is that too much to ask?
What's the best way to tell someone that I accidentally wound up in a gay harem?
You have a husband. I have a bag full of electronics. This, is the single life.
Is it bad when your own grandmother calls you a whore?
am i the only one who finds it a little awkward seeing as we all made out last night?
Randomize
