guess you're going to miss out on a groin massage and a frosty vagina
After the VIP Latina experience at the strip club last night, I am rooting for Mexico in this years World Cup.
She just referred to her vagina as "this bitch".
My vibrator challenges you to a duel.
So I just told the bartender I would go down on her. You need to get here
Mom just posted ur drunk pix from Cancun in the newly made "My not-so-fantastic son" album. Thought you should know.
The only thing I regret was that he was wearing a scarf when we made out.
Everyone was hooking up and I was just by myself rolling around in the grass at one point ... Which I am allergic to.
How dare you question the sanctity of Chocolate-and-Porn day
Im shooting goldshlager and waxing my crotch
As much of a hooker as I am you don't slam where you drink
I just made mac at 3:10 am... My life is falling apart...
I NEED A MOM FRIEND. NOW.
Do you think it would be okay if i cleaned my cartilage piercing with the leftover vodka?
Why is there bacon in the couch?
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