oh and i feel obligated to inform you that there will be no sexin' because it's 'lady time' for me. so this ain't a booty call.
Get out...Run...Or there's going to be a dick in your mailbox
remember when you found twisted pleasure condoms in my parents bathroom? theyre gone.
I love how girls just decide that guys who don't like them must be gay
I do the same thing. If a girl doesn't like me...I am like, "i must be gay"
bowling with tennis balls and shot glasses. whatever you dont knock down after 2 rolls, you drink.
i just shit on the floor of my room. my roommate was in the bathroom, my choices were limited.
no dont talk to me..because of you my bar tab was more expensive than my hospital bill
I figured that I'd start organizing the places ive given head. I'll add treehouse right after bandroom
I'm more concerned with the fact that he was UNconcerned that live poultry could peck him in the nutsack @ any moment of sex
some people spend their whole lives trying to find their soulmate. who knew mine was hiding in utah successfully balancing a pageant career and a coke habit.
I legitimately had a champagne shower last night at a rave. I was also carrying around two bananas in my pockets like guns. Drunk doesn't even. Begin to explain My night.
Bro I just got a hand job playing tiny wings.. Hell yea
I need to get some goddam control over my hormones
How can I prove that I give 401k advice and not handjobs?
She was pretty impressed that I led all thirty of us back to campus in my state of drunk. Evidently so impressed that she now refers to me as "Moses" in bed.
Randomize
