Forgot that I saved my paper as "Eat Shit Edwards" and e-mailed it because I missed class. I'm sure Prof. Edwards will be delighted when she gets it. I don't anticipate a passing grade.
Sometimes to bang a cougar u gotta play wii With her kids
normally i'm against accepting campers on facebook but this one saw me giving head to another counselor and didn't say shit about it to my boss so i feel like shes earned the right to look at my sloppy drunk pictures
You were pretty fucked up... decided playing hopscotch down the stairs was an excellent idea.. it was extremely entertaining
i just shit on the floor of my room. my roommate was in the bathroom, my choices were limited.
I get a nice feeling when i open my fridge and see it filled with thirty beers and half a leftover jimmy johns pickle.
no you're not allowed back
come on. everbeers was a great idea. you fucks had a great night
Dude. I might have just seen some porn i wasnt ready to see. The chicks were so old.
Doap. Just bring some lube and a slingshot. Not sure y we need the slingshot.
You should make us a hot pocket to split while I go throw up.
Just for once I'd like my first interaction with a new GP to not be an obvious sex injury.
I feel like my life just hangs in the balance of "Yeah I'm probably not doing this right"
So why exactly are your shoes in my freezer?
These tits shall not be calmed
I brought an already opened bag of trail mix from home to snack on today. Some motherfucker ate all the m&ms out of it. I hate my roommates
Randomize
