YOu come back ASAP and we will do whatever you want baby
can "i'm close!" be our safe word(s)?
oh geez, wrong person.
I woke up with the wrong plaid-shirted guy in my bed.
If we were to wake in ur bed together, what are the 3 words you would say to me?
Get out now.
Just witnessed a circumcision at clinical. i suddenly feel a sense of reconciliation over every guy who's done me dirty...
im proctoring the SATs right now and im still drunk from last night. i really wanna tell these kids that this fucking test doest mean shit and they will just be constantly drunk once in college.
she showed up with nothing but olive garden breadsticks in her purse.
I sorta feel bad for the actual person in my fake id that got a drunk in public charge.
Change of plans. Theres a bouncy castle setup in my apartment complex.
tell your freshman friends. will trade sexual favors for swipes. ive got dinner tomorrow open and lunch on wed
My date just wheeled me home in a shopping cart but it was normal
Obviously you've never slept with someone who was deliverance level inbred.
This morning I found four opened yet full beers on my desk and my towel rack pulled off the wall and in bed with me
Part of my tooth flew in my eye when the dentist was drilling my cavity then I was sent to the ER. Fucking never going back
So, just how hungover are you?
Not at all, surprisingly.
That has to be your X-Men power.
Randomize
