In the future we'll all be gay
Dude sorry i couldnt seem to spell any words right in the texts i sent you last night
I felt like a fucking code breaker.
as soon as you compare a person to an animal, all sexual interest is out the window
Shaking her cervix like it's the hottest ticket around
just tried googling 24 hr taco bell and when i typed "24 hour" it autocompleted with fitness. buzzzz killllll
How does "I'm not drinking tonight" turn into body shots?
I'm going to pre plan my black out tonight. I think I'll set a change of clothes out on my bed and unplug the oven.
I fell asleep with my vibrator still in me. I am the Queen of Sad Masturbation.
you force-fed me gummy vitamins while screaming "I JUST WANT YOU TO BE HEALTHY" i have never been so terrified in my life.
Why doesn't he get that I would rather give him blow jobs than be in a relationship?
In the UK. Bar special, every drink costs a pound. I'm two shots away from being deported. God save the queen.
Do you know how to get blood out of tile grout?
He saw one of my bras on the floor and said "damn you could eat soup out of this"
i dont know the whole gay terminator look is really hot on him
i woke up on the couch at 5:24am, hangover, craving for some ribs, but i only had a bag of cheetos and a half empty beer. man what a breakfast.
Randomize
