all we ever talk about is how much i like your dick or my drug problem.
gettin pulled by a cop with a camera crew. gonna flee. want my 15 min of fame on cops.
I don't remember much but I know I looked hot.
Soup is not an acceptable meal before doing that many Jager bombs
Apparently I was holding on to a pizza crust for hours last night.
Maybe tomorrow I'll be drunk again and can provide you with texts at a more reasonable hour. Here's hoping. GOodnight. Tebow loves you
I say go for the trifecta and maybe you'll get a medal or something. Or a baby. That's like the same thing right?
IM WEARING A FLAG
So that's a no to the clothes then
FLAG
I'm filtering his penis picture so I can see it better
In her defense, she didn't know I had a twin brother. Plus, we're even: I banged her sister.
That's probably why white girls drink so much espresso. Piledriving coke and vodka crans takes a fucking toll man
Masterbating to Tolstoy. You?
I found a used condom in my purse this morning. It was in there with a bunch of smushed french fries.
I love you, but seriously, that was way too long a thesis on an Arby’s curly fry being wrapped around schlong!
But we have bathrooms and they dont
Randomize
