I didn't notice until this morning that he had a six inch RAT TAIL...
Dude its so hot it my room I can't jack off. Its gonna be a long summer.
You just kept screaming "You are no House!!!" at the ER doc trying to stitch your head
good it was pretty cute, also what would bong water do to a puppy?
This teachers last name is pfister and she did the fisting motion to help explain how to pronounce her name. This class might be good
I hugged the bouncer as we left.
A bee came out of the shoe box and stung her. Even the insect community doesn't want her in those hideous things.
i told him I'd let him eat part of a weed cookie out of my cleavage, so he pulled over like a gentleman.
I just picked up my phone and one shoe from the man mowing the lawn next to the ice rink. He found them in a tree.
I need to shower three times. First to be clean, second to wash off all sins, and third will classify as baptism.
I'm the Oprah of jello shots
Went out with the family last night and some 40 yr old lady wanted to take me home. My mom was not happy with me
They have beer where we have blood.
There's nothing more rewarding than telling you that I fucked your dad
and then you proceeded to throw soup at him for calling you a bitch...a CAN of soup...
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