I guess what I'm trying to say is you've fucked more people than the economy.
If I were trying to take advantage of you I would have maxed out all your credit cards by now.
im trying not to drink and cry in the same night anymore. i'll let you know how it goes
Omg!!!! Call me in the morning I just saw A stripper queef out a dollar
my purse only fit my wallet or the martini shaker. it wasnt even a question of which i was bringing.
I'm not sure how appropriate a drug deal is while at a wake.
Someone just told me I have an ass that could kill small children .... Don't know how to take that one
Just got home and found him passed out with his ass stuck in a Rubbermaid garbage can. He must have been like that for a few hours
...oh my god that's like anal suicide
I'm aware. I'm writing the eulogy for my colon as we speak.
There are 18k people at the game and I'm next to the one guy who pulls his underwear down to his ankles to piss.
I'm having an emotional breakdown watching baby sloths on YouTube you need to come save me from myself.
Sexting Captain while emailing my eharmony match about my low key weekend is hard.
I feel like I put a fire out with my hand but idk if that was a dream or not
If I'm legally allowed to go to jail than I should legally be allowed to tell a cop to fuck off. Basic principles.
Yea, but did you really have to throw a sandwich at him??
Just had the biggest masturbatory crisis ever.
What does that mean?
Internet is down.
Randomize
