Vibrator and massage oils got stopped at security. Super.
he's 25, hott, and leaving for iraq tuesday, i wanna get in as much as possible...
your life is a nick sparks novel waiting to happen
I have jerked off in every room in your house. *the more you know
I need a gatorade, my back cracked, my crimper, my shot glass, a sock of rice and an explanation.
You did this to yourself.
I love our strategizing... I wish we used the same passion for planning our lives and future that we use for planning our drunken escapades... We would both be doctors by now, I swear
I may or may not have had sex last night then sent him home on a bike with two flats
Weed is now completely legal in Colorado and Washington. I repeat weed is now legal! I'm putting a deposit down on a house as we speak.
ROADTRIP.
Maybe there is a secret pocket full of cocaine in that spiderman wallet.
Cockoligist
Yes, one may refer to me as that.
I should make business cards.
Just saw a guy with two baby turtles sneaking into the building
Woke up at 10 with bourbon being shoved down my throat and him yelling, "shot train! Don't be a bitch"
She puked off the side of the cruise ship onto a newlyweds balcony table and they watched it all happen then they made her clean it up
Good dick will make you do a lot of things… Great dick will make you consider buying a house.
His beard looks like it smells like beer, cocaine and old pussy juice
ready for a night of bad decisions, horrible moral standards, and an unhealthy amount of illegal substances.
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