apparently they started giving me water shots and i couldnt tell the difference
I am 90% sure the kid in front of me in class is picking his face spots, smelling it, and then eating it. That is a LOT of % sure for something like that.
u just dont fucking get it...you try and cum while your cat is staring at you.
the Monday before Thanksgiving is not a Monday at all. Just Thursday in Monday suit.
I can blatently call girls sluts here and they think i'm speaking norwegian
I wish I still had pics from the prostitute I paid/dated
He passed out on the floor and you kept hitting him in the dick and screaming "hammer of justice".
Hangover Status: I've been bedridden longer than that kid from The Secret Garden. It's not looking good.
He asked us to wake him up with a strobe light. We had it going in front of his face full power for half and hour and he didn't even blink.
Do not shit in our house. There is no TP. I am walking to get more, if I do not return, I have probably died of dysentery after my last wagon wheel got stuck in a gulch. Tell Martha and Lou Ann that I love them, and that I passed away doing the Lord's work.
Yeah we invited her back for chicken nugget sandwiches
You seemed underwhelmed by my smooth, smooth ass
Your youporn search history says otherwise.
Fuck you, i'm all jacked up on bananas lets go somewhere
Three cheers for handling my crush on my boss in an entirely reasonable manner, by having a threesome with my coworkers.
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