I'm in your bed right now
Okay meet you there give me 10
Don't think you can make me leave either
Give me ten I ha e to be ******'s wingman I want you
so i walked in, looked up the stairs and all i saw was smashed pumpkin, tube socks, and marinara sauce
he was screaming in a recently acquired accent that he paid for delivery and they could cancel the entire order if they didn't come upstairs
I thought you said it was going to get worse not hilarious.
the delivery boy turned out to be my students mother. now she knows that i have incredibly low standards AND thanks to the fact that he still has dialup the pizza tracker was way off and she rang the bell and he answered mid bong rip.
Met some locals. They are taking me to a place where there is topless bullriding. I love this country.
i dont care if i had to wear a dress to fuck her, she was super hot and i stand by my decision
im not going to any frat parties next semester. for once i want them to think its actually hard to get in my vagina
i'll just tell him I slept with them both because we needed to compare notes
They got their marriage license when they were at the courthouse for her arraignment.
I took his sheets with my when I left seeing that I underestimated my period. Also grabbed a 6-pack out of the fridge because breakfast is the most important meal of the day & I don't do other peoples laundry for free.
I just found pizaa roll in my hair. Already been to class today
I tried to make friends with the geese living behind Hughes. They didn't really like that idea.
Are you high?
After my lunch today, I've got $10 till Sunday night. I am losing at life.
Tell the cops to let you through! Tell them you need to do drugs!
I cannot handle Xanax... I just turned my computer on and I googled how to work YouTube
I basically spent the entire weekend in bed with that red head.Every time I tried to leave she got me too horny to think straight. I was kidnapped by vagina
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