I'm almost 25, which means I can ride with girls that have permits
worst 3rd wheel sitch ever. i'm crammed into a booth with him and chubs mcgee and his hand is between her legs. thank youuu karma.
I miss vodka workout Fridays
What hospital were we in last night? Insurance needs to know
I never thought I would say this but I have to clean queso off my vibrator
He showed up 3 hours late wearing roller skates and acted like nothing was wrong with that.
We fucked to techno music while he wore shin guards... best sex ever.
I hope I bought a crossbow. Also I need to not drink that much
if i got ashes i think they'd burn a hole into my head with the amount of sins i've committed this year alone and it's only february
Woah there. I lasted a semester and a fourth of college not having sex. trust me when i say keeping my virginity was an obstacle course of olympic proportions.
The virgin olympics. I would win the gold. For America.
The walk home lasted longer than the sex. He lives in the flat above the bar.
SKIIIIIIIIIIII, trip mo foes! Let-ith the epic- ness begin ith. Heroes go forth, nAy Sayers fuckin die. This is for the good of mankind! See you on the morrow
Apologies to the number who did not expect to get this but certainly be jealous of us.
I know that you sometimes make decisions based on comedic effect, but losing your virginity shouldn't be one of them.
Do you not realize that being Batman fulfills about 95% of my non-sexual fantasies?
I begin to question your sobriety when you both left here shirtless, with beers in one hand and shotguns in the other
Randomize
