Moan for me like Helen Keller
does he have a tent? the camping kind not the boner kind.
she passed on me to fuck the foreign guy. is there a manlier, slightly less gay way of saying "always the bridesmaid, never the bride"?
nope.
All i have left of him are the magnum X-Large condoms he left in my room, knowing full well that no other guy I hook up with will be able to fill his shoes. He taunts me.
The last thing I remember is him grabbing my ass and telling me he knew where the jello shots were, so I followed him.
If a hot cougar texts u and says "back massage, blow job".... you show the fuck up.
youre always welcome to strip dance on tables with me Mag. what are friends for.
My dick hurts from so many people grabbing it last night. We're not going back to that club
My biggest accomplishment thus far this summer is having sex 5 weeks after hip surgery.
If you already knew specifically that I was smoking a bowl in my remodeled bathroom AND THEN still wanted to initiate sexting, please proceed to the altar and marry me this instant.
I just finished packing for spring break, took me 4 minutes. To be fair though I only put my trunks, a pair of underwear, and 50 condoms in my bag.
we found him passed out on the baseball field with two 40oz and wearing a tophat.
Where did he get the tophat?
By the way, anytime you want to go toe to toe on Doggystyle lyrics just let me know!
Who is this? Did we just become best friends?!
I just had sex in the footy bunny pajamas my mom bought me for christmas. Tis the season
I probably shouldn't be taking relationship advice from my side piece...
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