Everytime she would start slurring, she'd stop, hold up a finger, wait like 30 seconds, then try again. I love drunk people
its whatevr the fuvk you could ever want is wht it is. i dont wanna read. literacy? overated in my opinion. overated.
The douche that always wears spandex at the gym just walked into class with a dick going into his mouth drawn on his face. The professor said "rough night" and he still has no idea. Tyring to get a pic
He thinks MY vagina is tight. That's saying something.
i think there mostly mad about the fact it was 6 pm not the fact i blew a .255
you fucked my boyfriend. margarita girls night will not fix this.
There's somethin not right about having to take the batteries out of your 27 year old boyfriends gameboy to use in your vibrator
This must be what defeat feels like to Tom Brady today. I bet he wishes he could barf up all of his bad decisions from yesterday, too.
Watermelon juice. Makes everything better. Gin. Wine. EVERYTHING.
You know, I think when I have a lot of free time, thats when I pick up odd lovers. Maybe keeping busy is key to not using my vagina
Wife and kids came home early...naked passed out covered in chili cheese Fritos dad will haunt them forever.
Like I wasn't going to make out with the hot Australian sitting next to me at the Portland blazer game?
I can appreciate that you picked up the hot drummer, but don’t have sex in front of my house lmao
I just don’t understand what sort of USPS worker wants to take my unitard and sex toys.
Vocabulary what?!? Shakespeare is my bitch.
Randomize