Yep, it's a dick on our front door. Intentional?
he stole me 6 pairs of frilly undies and proclaimed "your ass looks like a 5 in those. it'll be a 10 in these bad boys". every girl needs a gay bff.
Just wanted to remind you that you literally cut the underwear off a man.
I use him for alcohol and he uses me for sex. This is the closest thing to love i could imagine
It's one of those mornings when I woke up thinking that i really shouldn't have hooked up with my ex boyfriend's girlfriend just to prove a point.
Remember that time I tried to pierce your nipples while high... it's like that, only with more blood... and less nipples
I'm currently trying to decide if crown or wild turkey will hurt worse coming back out through my nose later.
Seriously. My vagina. Can we talk about it? It's gonna jump off this treadmill and devour my trainer.
I really hope your new roommate never finds out we had a threesome with a bisexual British guy in his room the night before he moved in.
I yelled kanye while he was fucking me. It just felt right
I tried getting kicked out of my favorite bar. No matter what I did, I could do no wrong
Just took physics exam. I think this is one of those 'chuck it in the fuck-it bucket and become an art major' days
I told him you forbid me to sleep with him so he needs to accept that.
Of course his biggest mistake was assuming that I ever gave a fuck to begin with.
Of course he’s dumb. He’s got a 9 inch dick! There’s not enough blood in his body for a big dick and a big brain. It’s science
Randomize
