He made me pinky-promise that he gave me an orgasm.
I want something that's relevant to him banging her right after I did. Like "runner-up"
No that means he must've used the nipple clamps
I drunken agreed to go wedding dress shopping with a stranger at the bar yesterday. She sent me an email asking what days I am free.
Just thought i'd let you guys know that my dad was roofied at a lesbian bar last night...
I walked by the two of them and mouthed "fuck me" based on there reaction I think they just came in their pants
I should've realized you were drunk when you began to point at my crotch while yelling "Funland!!!"
I think I need to see a chiropractor after giving that blow job
I kept on yelling at him to get his shit together as he was puking
WHY IS THERE A FUCKING DILDO IN PLACE OF MY GEAR SHIFTER IN MY CAR?
Interesting, I was always told to run away from crazy, but you seem to think we should run towards them dick first.
I'd like to know who hasn't seen my tits tonight.
The only food I have to eat is weed gummies and magic mushrooms... This is peak 34
And tell your penis that we can hang out tonight for sure.
It was probably the most embarrassing moment of my life. But I had cleavage, so I'm good!
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