she has a tiny mouth but huuuge vocal chords
I realize now. I should have just made out with everyone and anyone when I had the chance.
this girl im hooking up with thought my ring was a purity ring... apparently im taking it too slow
this text is just filler to avoid a lull in the conversation
long story short: there's a file in the master file cabinet labeled "lube".
no dont talk to me..because of you my bar tab was more expensive than my hospital bill
Just ordered a clown who does balloon animals. No backing out now.
I'm going to die alone in a sea of empty vodka bottles and cats.
You're probably reading this when you wake up from your "nap" in the front yard. Maybe next week you should go to class, and not start Thirsty Thursday at 9:30 in the morning.
Doing the walk of shame and bringing my dad a newspaper en route. Favourite daughter status confirmed.
I'm sitting outside your room listening for sex noises eating pepperoni...slowly
Why is there no Netflix category for "I just wanna cry, but I don't have time for a whole romcom"?
To keep it classy I will take a pregnacy test on Mother's Day
when i woke up with 300+ messages I didn't except them to be about coyotes and burning shoes.
She’s either doing coke or thinks my cock has the Covid vaccine. Either way I haven’t worn clothes in 3 days
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