It's pouring out. I am cold, wet, and miserable.... Kind of reminds me of our sleepover last night.
I had a dream once that juice was flowing out of my kitchen faucet
Life lesson: using the oven as a heater= $500 electric bill
Tequila is the liquid version of celery. I lose more calories during tequila drunk and the following sexual activities than I gain by drinking it...
Everything tastes like hotdogs and shame.
How do you feel about fucking me quick and then me leaving to go do arts and crafts?
Good idea. You gotta take care of your vagina. She takes care of you. Pay it forward.
all i could think about while he was eating me out was how pretty his eyelashes were
There were four people in the car. The girls sure know how to blow. I think we almost crashed when the driver climaxed.
She told me her last name, which as you know is my #1 turn-off.
Did you take the bag w/your drugs & cookie cutter?
On a happier note, I can fit in my old shorts. Dope does have its perks
I accidentally just texted my dad asking if he wants to do shrooms with me. Do I leave the city now or...
I just put my eye make up on in the bathroom of the bar.... I may be too comfortable here....
I think my stomach is breaking up with me. It's giving me back everything I ever gave it.
Randomize
