I wanna wear you like a flannel shirt
Haha so you are never gonna want to meet my mom now...she just found your thong in her front seat
We should have parties more often. I ended up with 90 beers and someone cleaned my toilet.
is it really high of me to have brought my own hot sauce to wendys?
No more Irish car bombs ever.
DDing is such a bittersweet job, just got the entire history of this girls hookup career
i think my love is proven by the fact that i still want to have sex with you after this conversation
I'm basically a mama hen. I keep them warm and let them wonder around the house. not to mention, I keep eye on them just in case the falcons around the house try to snatch them away.
I don't even know what to say right now
So I'm sitting at my desk and Thunderstruck came on my iPod. I then proceeded to drink coffee every time I heard thunderstruck. Who says you don't remember anything from college?
I think cutting a patient out of a owl costume is a first for those guys. It's a good story at least.
I'll truly miss your penis but your use of words and phrases such as bae, yolo, swag, and totes have ruined how attractive you once were.
So apparently having sex with your co-worker in the bathroom at the staff party can get you fired.
So the door man at the local dispensary started giving me motivational talks about my beard...
Yeah come over whenever. Weed gets here at 8.
I'll be there at 7:59.
But what is a man profited, if he should gain Joe Biden and lose Alex Trebek?
Randomize